tala

wishful thinking

2005-08-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

you love him and i’m sure he loves you just the same. end of story. clear your mind. there will be better days.

*for my ate cuneho

pop

2005-04-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

this is the life. :)

some song

2005-03-14T19:04:00.000-08:00

Broken Sonnet
Hale:

And now I concede
On the night of this fifteenth song
Of melancholy, of melancholy
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That I love you, I love you.
I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘Cause tonight
I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight I’ll be right at your side.

Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.
The clock on the TV says 8:39
PMIt’s the same, it’s the same
And in this next line
I’ll say it all over again
That I love you, I love you.
I don’t care what they say
I don’t care what they do
‘Cause tonight
I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight
I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.
I’ll leave my fears behind
‘Cause tonight
I’ll be right at your side.
Lie down right next to me
Lie down right next to me
And I will never let go
Will never let go.

But still I see the tears from your eyes
Maybe I’m just not the one for you.

clutter

2005-03-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

i've been wanting to write a lot of things here but for some reason i cannot come up with cohesive thoughts. so, here's a pseudo-mediocre attempt to post something.

hmm, how should i go on with this?

current this and that:

spongecola cd, a tool box, a coffee mug given by cris, my i-just-had-my-face-scrubbed-picture, telephone, leather casing, lotsa paper, wrappers of kisses and m and m's, a picture of me and mark, a note from my officemate saying i should wait for her 'till lunch, a number 1 monggol pencil, two books on language attrition, an orange faber castell textliner, a violet bulging pen, some nokia trinkets, my mum's purpose driven life book, cellphone, and would you believe a round tupperware (which i ought to return to its owner asap).

(well that sums up my work station, of course i did not include those items inside my pedestal, cluttered, eh?)

* hi angel ! :)

my thanks

2005-02-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

life has been dragging me lately, or so i think. certain things have been happening around me and yet, i don't even come close to having even a mere grasp on them. every effort is just plain trivial...

even so...thank you almighty god...

1. for the life you have bestowed again on me
2. for the people who continuosly understand and protect me
3. for the channels that you provide ceaselessly
4. for the strength
5. and for a rather comforting carbonara from mami

para sa iyo monings

2005-02-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

hindi na bumalik ang dating sigla ng bahay natin

animo'y pagal na ang bawat halakhak

kinakapos ang munting pagsinaya sa mga umagang dumadaan

kipkip pa rin ni mama at papa ang lahat na ikaw

pinipilit kong tumingin sa malayo

subalit pawang kawalan ang sumisilip sa akin

may giwang na sa mga sulyap ni yayey

kadalasan ay nakakabinging katahimikan ang yumayapos sa amin

maging sina wawi at frends ay nakalimutan na atang kumahol

ilang beses nang nasira ang computer

makailang ulit na ring tumagas ang gripo sa kusina

naghihintay pa rin ang isang tasa sa paminggalan para sa milo at saging

hinahanap ko pa rin ang remote control ng iyong telebisyon

inaagiw na ang aircon sa isa sa mga kwarto sa baba

sayang dahil iyon pa naman ang pinakamabilis lumamig

paminsan- minsan ay tinitipa nila ej, abi at andre ang luma mong gitara

nagtitipon tipon pa rin kami sa memorial hanggang ngayon

nangungulila pa rin kmi sa iyo mon-mon

subalit may sayang dulot ang bawat pag- alala na kapiling mo na Siya

maligayang kaarawan sa iyo.

for today

2005-02-17T17:52:00.000-08:00

shout outs!

"my, my, kitchie can really sing" (and ye, it was so nice to hear RUN again)

"yael definitely looks like jek, and the voice pare, kaboses na kaboses"

"k8's crew, i wanna see you guys up there, really"

"hayyabyu aya and yumi bochok"

"up fair, 'stig sobra"

and ye,

happy 20th birthday mon-mon, yabyu yabyu

thus

2005-02-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

i'm not using my pc today. i'm using michie's. my pc crashed, well somewhat. poor pc but poorer me. i really hope i'll be able to retrieve my files. gawd. i have so much thoughts there, inevitable ones.

i had a wonderful evening. i hope i'll continue having this disposition. but i am yet to do more things, for Him.

i'll probably dwell on it on my future entries. as for now, i'm happy to recall my stance again.

some things...

i hope she recovers fast.

and ye, for my peace of mind...

i'm sorry ann.

current song

2005-02-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

love alone
(caedmon's call)

No one would love me
If they knew all the things I hide
My words fell to the floor
As tears drip through the telephone line
And the hands I've seen
Raised to the sky
Not waving but drowning
This time
I'll try to build the ark that they need
To float to you upon the crystal sea
Give me your hand
To hold
Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough
To hold us up we've got to touch your robe
So swing your robe down low
Swing your robe down low
Prince of despair's been beaten
And the losers still fight
Death's on a long leash
Stealing my friends to the night
And everyone cries for innocent
You say to love the guilty, too
And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
So I'm working tearing back the roof
Give me your hand
To hold
Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough
To hold us up we've got to touch your robe
So swing your robe down low
Swing your robe down low
And the pain of the world is a burden
And it's my cross to bear
And I stumble under all the weight
I know you're Simon standing there
And I know you're standing there
Give me your hand
To hold
Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough
To hold us up we've got to touch your robe
So swing your robe down low
Swing your robe down low

hi, i'm mobi

2005-02-14T22:40:00.000-08:00

i've been feeling really gloomy these days but i can't fathom why. i've also been missing a lot of people. i've lost touch with some really nice people in sfs and science. too bad, i was never really good in keeping relationships. somehow, i have incured this distant kind of attitude. yeah, i can spend a good amount of time with anyone but that doesn't give any guarantee of complete interest, from me.

but i'm trying to outgrow it if not unlearn. i mean just outgrow. i have always believed that we can never unlearn things. simply put, the moment we do something we have already imbibed the process. yeah, we may forget parts of the whole but forgetting everything is just too close to impossible.

surely, going away is essentially significant in my life. that's probably it. i think/feel i have to go somewhere. it's hard to explain but there's just something missing in my life.

i wish i could easily wash away this low feel i'm having.

anyone, help.

and so it is

2005-02-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

now i'm feeling all sentimental. strangeness.

it's a little overdue but what the crap, i just would like to thank these people for projecting some radiance in my life the past year...

veron, homer, and katya

God has his own way of weaving things. Believe me, He's creating something wonderful for our family. Keep the faith!

kate and chie

Tides have brought us from maginhawa to mapplewood. And I'm pretty sure we'll have to ride along until it's really over. For now, let's keep on dancing to pretty little baby by the sexbomb dancers while surfing. let us continue being goofy and dainty at the same time. And ye, never forget rule number one, never cling too much, as in never ever, o well, not unless its IT already.

isang, rudy, brad, aya, gale, yumi, jet, sam, kate, k6

Here's to those nights of being windang. I wouldn't have enjoyed college life without you guys. But honestly, you guys (except for rudy) were demons in costume. gawd. if not for my santa- santita mode during those days, i would be living in the streets these days because my parents have disowned me already. but seriously, you kept me sane and insane. you guys made me realize that being too obedient hinders total enjoyment. all the while, veron and homer thought i have really nice college friends, crap-y-ness. Geez. The best bunch in UP.

best teroy

A stuff (ed) toy pretending to be a human being. Dudepare, you are the epitome of a selfless lovahboi! haha! Freaks me out though. keep on singing bespren you're kinda good at it. me liar, ye i know, me liar. okay, i'll stop now. me liar!!!! haha

ate dianne, bj, kuya jowel, enay, tito clenn, alvin

Poof! swimming. Poof! billiards. Poof! bowling. Poof! tagaytay. Poof! picnic. Poof! jogging. Poof! badminton. Poof! road trip. Poof! no more money. We were on the road most of the time, humming or banging our heads to calyo's playlist. damn you guys, i miss you so much. Promise, i'll bake brownies, edible ones. Only for tropang clique. Won't share, promise.

antioch sto. rosario

The prayers and more. God's gift to a lost, well, not so lost really, soul.

cangsi, leo, badette, naldi, mick, nowin, mark b.

Dingy cubao no more. you turned me upside down but in a good way. I will forever look at isaw as something priceless. Often, you get my drift and you work on that. Geez. We're such workaholics. Ha! Kung gusto mong lumigaya sa iyong buhay humanap ka ng pangit at ibigin mong tunay isang pangit na talagang di mo matanggap at huwag ang lalaki/babae na iyong pangarap. 'STIG. Huhum....stairs? Anyone?

to that person who calls me ris and acknowledges that he is in fact ris himself

Many firsts. My seemingly insurmountable shooting star. You were that. Don't contest. You really were, among other things. I know I owe you a lot of things, explanations and so much more. I still wish we could clean every cloud someday. You made me see things differently, or better put on a totally unusual light. I believe you. I'm sure you'll get through all of it. Do me a favor, leave a space there. I'll get over this. I just don't know when. But as you always say, actions speak louder than words. I'm actually starting to see through that. I hope i can be brave and be someone's savior too. Just like you, spidey. Names, old names. Things change but on a varied pace. I don't know if this will consume a hefty amount of time. But nonetheless, I enjoyed the ride. Top of mind, I don't want to go down, not yet, but i don't want the coaster to move either. Stuck in the moment, that is. If only I could keep all those moments in tact, here, right here, I would, but again as you always say, it's useless to paint everything in mind, natural progression, I would have to dispose some of it to make room for new ones. Geez. I sure hope I'm making the right decision.

mon- mon

It amazes me to think that we actually survived the year. It was definitely hard. Katya and I had to learn all the techy stuff. But still, we could not match your knowledge on a lot of things. Mama and Papa are slowly coping and so is everyone. It comforts us to see your friends every now and then, and Joy too, however, everytime it happens our hearts flutter in pain because somehow, the reality that you're no longer with us slaps us. I'll ask Choz to teach me how to play your guitar. I'll squeeze it in my schedule. You're always in our thoughts Monings. Continue looking over us.

...thus, i'm looking forward to an even better year. thanks to these people and to those i failed to mention for being there throughout 2004. stuck it up guys!

driving lessons

2005-02-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

driving homer's pick-up on a sunday morning. off to batanggas. very bad in changing gears. the wind kissing my bandana. sights stealing glances every now and then. a missed exit. reverse reverse. road to nowhere. smooth. rough. rough/smooth. don't look back. not now.

btw, i'm back home. in one piece.

i just had to

2005-02-11T23:08:00.000-08:00

i miss the rainy evening you brought me home to cavite.
i miss suddenly star city.
i miss seattle's.
i miss the cheesy corn in recto.
i miss our walk me home -even if it will take an hour from drop- off-.
i miss our escapades in sunken garden.
i miss the mummy returns.
i miss your nba live raves and rants.
i miss your rooftop.
i miss your not so cold kool aid.
i miss your walis.
i miss playing hoops in the arcade.
i miss drinking that not so good lychee shake.
i miss using your computer.
i miss your scrapbook.
i miss gayuma and mang jimmy's.
i miss the swirled lollipop.
i miss the 1 meter gum.
i miss your being an atenista and a true marooned up attitude.
i miss your litany on frat wars.
i miss your fascination for lb.
i miss texting you at 4am.
i miss receiving a reply at 4:01 am.
i miss espresso.
i miss your old but reliable pick-up.
i miss your well- perfumed adventure.
i miss giving you water, not cold though, at 3 am.
i miss lying under the stars.
i miss using my sleeping bag because it was too cold outside our house.
i miss playing color wheel at the perya.
i miss the paper flowers.
i miss your being such a great driver, very, very good with directions.
i miss not going home to cavite on a weekend just so we could go somewhere else.
i miss crumbling in shame but on your shoulder whenever i do something, ahem, stupid.
i miss the awwww's everytime we see an awww-full moment.
i miss the girl selling sampaguita in greenhills.
i miss sarcasm.
i miss bronyorski.
i miss the snowy carwash thingy.
i miss laughing out loud (bad me) when the poor dog tried to save himself from falling.
i miss nix and the way you describe him.
i miss being scared because of the mumu's in mapplewood or in our garden in cavite or in up.
i miss taking care of pinky.
i miss watching kung fu hustle but missing a good 15 minutes because of injured pinky.
i miss dancing in the moonlight.
i miss manong guard opening the gate at 1 am.
i miss manong guard with "gabing- gabi na, tsk, tsk, tsk" look on his face.
i miss being a tour guide.
i miss typing things to bring on feb. 5.
i miss taco bell and national bookstore.
i miss plastic balloon.
i miss eating cotton candy.
i miss listening to spongecola and kitchie nadal and my college cd.
i miss sm north.
i miss shouting "im crazy for you touch me huwahansss and you'll know it's true..."
i miss gateway.
i miss coastal road and the very bad traffic there.
i miss with a smile.
i miss feeling bad when you told me that you saw your crush in subic last christmas.
i miss having this otherhand emotion when you uttered that it was heart evangelista you were pertaining to.
i miss waiting for your reports before new year, sagada?baguio?abra?
i miss wearing the slip-ons you brought home for me.
i miss sleeping with all the inis in me because of some mundane reason.
i miss seeing you outside the house before 12 mn just so we could sort things out.
i miss holding your hand.
i miss looking for a chinese restaurant in the middle of the night.
i miss planning where to go on this and that date.
i miss our couch.

i miss tinkerbell.
i miss those poems.
i miss the warm embrace.
i miss suntok sa buwan.
i miss being picked up at 7:30 on a sunday morning to have breakfast somewhere in katipunan.
i miss winpop- ing.

and ye, i miss you ris.

hangover

2005-02-11T16:36:00.000-08:00

i had four bottles of beer last night, actually until early a.m.

left pioneer at around 1:30 a.m.

had coffee somewhere.

went inside the house at 5 a.m.

he is a walking contradiction.

why does he keep on hurting me?

or so i feel.

what's the point of it all?

slept at around 6 a.m.

woke up at 7 a.m.

i'm at the office now.

naldi, leo, cangsi and gboy aren't here yet.

actually, i planned to skip a.m. work.

i feel so tired.

i don't want to be a grumpy tzie anymore.

but really, i am tired.

spare me.